A Mother's Presence
by truglasgowgal
Summary: Sequel to 'Too Much Time, Not Enough Truth'. I often used to wonder what our lives would have been like if she hadn’t left. I often wondered if it was our mother’s presence, which could have saved us all.


Title: A Mother's Presence  
Disclaimer: I think you all know the drill by now; only those characters I've made up belong to me, the rest all belong to J.J.Abrams and his people yada yada yada …  
Quotes: "Don't let the blood wash away what's left of your soul." "What blood?" "The blood of all the people you're going to murder." – Smallville  
"There will come a day, when you will wish you had done a little evil, to do a greater good." – Kingdom of Heaven  
A/N: Just a little sequel (of sorts) to 'Too Much Time (Not Enough Truth)'  
Summary: I often used to wonder what our lives would have been like if she hadn't left. I often wondered if it was our mother's presence, which could have saved us all. 

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I reckon as soon as I came into this world I knew better than to cry for my mother.

I wasn't even one when mum deserted us. And I often used to wonder what our lives would have been like if she hadn't left. Would Daddy have acted differently? Would _we_ have acted differently? In fact, I often wondered if it was our mother's presence, which could have saved us all.

One winter, just before Daddy died, when I thought I caught a glimpse of her, I asked my brother, Ari, if it was wrong; that the night before I had fantasized about killing our mother. He simply laughed and replied, that once I had tasted the real thing, fantasies would seem … second rate.

I didn't know what he meant then – I do now.

But neither of us could have anticipated who my first kill would be. Not then.

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"What made you come back, sis?" he turns round to face me as he asks.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me, brother", I reply with an innocent look, a slight raise of one shoulder and a sugary smile.

He smirks at me, "Don't pretend you've been thinking of my happiness, T, and I won't pretend I've been thinking of yours."

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T.

A single letter that threatens to unravel me. Take me back to the past. How it was … before.

But I'm not going to let it.

I can't.

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"Your survival, maybe. But not your happiness", he continues.

My survival.

That is what this is.

Mine and everyone else's.

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"What are you doing here, Tana?" he questions again.

"Saving the world", I reply with a slight, wry, smile.

I move towards him.

"Do you remember this? When it was taken?" I ask my brother, handing it to him.

He takes it, smiling reminiscently.

Fingering the wrinkled edges, like I've done countless times, his eyes never leave the laminate print.

"It was at home. He said he wanted one good photo of us all. He made us sit there, together, for ages till it came out the way he wanted. Said it captured us all perfectly."

It is of the three of us. Our family.

We are sitting together. A different expression on each of our faces; only one of us is smiling.

Daddy was right, though; it did capture us all perfectly.

"He died a week later", Ari adds matter-of-factly.

His arm is extended and he isn't looking as I take the photo back from him.

A small smile flitters across my face as I take one last look at the way things used to be, before tucking the picture back into my pocket.

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"He wouldn't have wanted this for us", I tell my brother softly, "He wouldn't. He _didn't._"

"Of course he did", my brother chastises me, "Why do you think he kept us? Why do you think he didn't let her take us with her when she left?"

"She left us all, Ari", I remind him, "If she'd wanted us she would've taken us. She didn't. But _he_ did. He kept us. He kept us because he loved us."

A mirthless laugh emits from between his lips, "He didn't know love, Tana. And he couldn't possibly have shown us anything, but what he knew."

Hands stretching out in front of him, palms up, he is referring to the death and destruction all around us of the sacred Church we are standing in; when he says his next words.

"And _this_, my sister, is what he knew best."

"No", I tell him adamantly, "He loved us. He left this life for us. He gave up everything _for us_."

"And this is how you repay him?" I demand of him angrily, "By turning into what he once was? By resurrecting his old namesake and using it as your own? By repeating all his actions, _tenfold_?"

"You sound disappointed in me", he says with a slight smirk and a hint of amusement in his words.

"I am", I reply simply, "He would have been ashamed of you, brother."

"He would have been proud of me", Ari corrects, "Proud that I took what he taught me and saw it for what it really was. Training. Survival. A living."

"Make no mistake, Tana. It is you he would have been ashamed of", my brother tells me.

"Because at the end of the day, I am my father's son. But after everything, you … you have become your mother's daughter."

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I move towards him again.

"I'm not going to let the blood wash away what's left of your soul."

Ari questions me as to what I'm talking about. He suddenly seems slightly apprehensive.

"What blood?" he asks.

I lean in close to him, and as a wet, salty tear slowly meanders its way down my cheek, I whisper, "The blood of all the people you're going to murder."

He chokes out a low grunt at the force of the blow. So unfamiliar.

And as I pull away, the bloodied metal in my hand is glinting in the faint light, and I watch those big blue orbs of his widen in surprise as they drift down to stare at the crimson coating his hands, before slowly rolling back up to look at me.

His questioning eyes finally penetrate my skull, but he speaks before I have the chance to; suddenly already knowing my reasoning behind it.

He was becoming all too powerful; too confident of himself; too sure of his power; too convinced he was untouchable.

It had become his downfall.

_I_ had become his downfall.

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"I never thought our mother stayed around long enough to have an influence on you", he says to me after a moment, then adds, "But I guess I was wrong."

"No, Ari, you weren't. I am as much my father's daughter as you are his son."

"I just know how to use his traits better than you", I say with a sad inevitability in my words.

I had played him expertly, he had to give me that.

So he relents; "I suppose you do."

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It is about to end, I can sense it; I ask softly, "Is it meaningless to apologize?"

A slight smile crackles over his lips, as he tells me, "Never."

And I nod.

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With a regrettable finality, we can both feel the irony weighted in his words as he utters.

"There will come a day, when you will wish you had done a little evil, to do a greater good."

He takes his last breath; his smirk now forever preserved on his face. 

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"What do I say to her?" I hear the voice of an anxious woman ask.

"I find 'hello' is usually a good place to start"; that of a warm, reassuring male's by her side.

I can practically hear the smile she gives in return from my place on the other side.

I watch the door crack open and the image I've dreamt of for years is suddenly standing in front of me.

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She couldn't have known how her decision to leave all those years ago would shape us into what we eventually became.

She couldn't have known that our father dying when we were so young would make us turn to any sort of survival we could.

She couldn't have known her daughter would kill her son because he had turned into everything she had hated about her father.

She couldn't.

And yet, somehow, I sense she realizes the true enormity of my presence.

So maybe she does, after all.

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Rising up from the solid floor beneath me, I step forward; towards the one thing that could give me what I once had.

A parent's love and trust – what it means to be part of a family.

She moves towards me, as I replicate the action.

Her face cracks; skin wrinkles and a wide, shaky smile forms.

Her eyes are glassy; previously unshed tears are now falling.

Suddenly I'm enveloped tightly within her arms.

The laminate image burns a hole in my pocket.

A single tear rolls down my cheek.

I whisper into my mother's shoulder, "I'm sorry."

**THE END.**

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Thanks for reading and please let me know what you thought of it - feedack is always much appreciated!  
Steph  
xxx 


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